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- When you’re all bloated and uncomfortable from consuming an obscene amount of holiday goodies, you can sprawl out spread-eagle in bed without guilt because you don’t have to share it with anyone.
- You don’t have to fear being all nervous about meeting a significant other’s family members for the first time and consequently drinking way too much, then making an ass out of yourself in front of the exact people you had desperately wanted to impress.
- Less gifts for others = More money to spend on gifts for yourself
- You can belt out Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas in the car without any loss of dignity as you attempt to hit that final high E note (which is three octaves out of your range and more closely resembles a screeching eagle than it does Christmas cheer).
- You have successfully averted any chance of awkward conversations with probing family members about the likelihood of adding another stocking to the fireplace next year. Drink your eggnog in peace, my friends.
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That was great! My version of number one would be, “You never have to say, “I’m too stuffed to have sex right now.” :/ LOL
OMG, that’s even better! Nice one, Danielle. Hilarious.
Number 5 is the one that really resonates with me this Christmas….. Ughhhh!!!