Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

So this happened today. August 18, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — Messie Jessie @ 7:43 pm
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The dog and I are on a steamy summer stroll around the neighborhood. We spot a family across the street. Two parents; in tow are a stroller with a baby, and a little 3 year old girl.

Sadie meme colors.jpg

Yup, this is my dog. Not to be confused with me.

Little girl: “A doggie!”

Me: A friendly smile and a broad wave.

Little girl’s mom: “Look! The doggie said hello!”

Well, actually, the owner said hello. The dog didn’t even notice you. But you know. I guess I can see how you would confuse us two.

No, actually I can’t. That was a really weird thing for that mom to say.


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Why I Am Totally OK with Streaming Media Content For Which I Did Not Pay May 10, 2016

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 3:00 pm
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Because if I made even 1/10th of what most of those high-rollers make, I would definitely give free content to people who do not make as much money as I do.

Oh wait – I already do give away free content to folks who cannot afford it. So, yeah. I am even more ok with not paying now.


PS: technically this makes me a pirate. Even better.

Me Pirate3

This image is basically the entire reason for this post.


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Top 5 Benefits of a Massive 2nd-Degree Curling Iron Burn on Your Neck March 25, 2016

Filed under: All about me,Top 5's — Messie Jessie @ 9:24 am
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  1. Not only am I certain that my curling iron still works, but I am able to roughly gauge just how hot it gets. “Blistering hot”, to be precise.
  2. You are able to discern if people are actually listening to you, or just feigning attention. Eyes that wander to your neck is a dead giveaway.
  3. It is a chance to finally try out that sexy side-swept-hair-covering-face look. Bonus points because the style requires NO HEAT.
  4. One is forced to contemplate the subjective passage of time as you rummage through the first aid supplies, only to discover they all expired in 2013. (Even though that was technically 3 years ago, it really does not feel like it was that far in the past. So that Neosporin must still be good, right?)
  5. I now know the universal magic words to getting any same-day appointment are “I think it’s infected”.

Come on, you are all thinking it. So, for the record: it is NOT a hickey, ALRIGHT?


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Just a Quick Update March 10, 2016

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 2:49 pm
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So remember a few weeks ago when I was all like “I’m blogging for 15 minutes EVERY DAY!”

Yeah. About that.

Trust me – I did not forget, nor did I change my mind. I have lots of ideas. And I actually have been working on one post for over a week at this point, stalled from spending far too long turning myself into a pirate. (Get excited about that, folks).

I don’t know if you realize but these posts also take way more than 15 minutes to write. Like, at least a solid hour for a few paragraphs and humorous pics. And, honestly? Sometimes I want to use that hour working on other things.

Things like:

  • learning to make my own clothes (totally rad, I know),
  • getting outside,
  • ramping up my exercise routine,
  • considering professional licensure,
  • doing amazing things with amazing people

All this to say, I’m here and I am not going anywhere. I just won’t be here every day.

Now, get off the internet and go do some amazing stuff with some equally amazing folks.


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The Mastery of Writing and Teeth Brushing February 24, 2016

Malcolm Gladwell (*nerd girl swoon) wrote about the 10,000 Hour Rule in his book Outliers. Basically, the 10,000 Hour Rule claims that if you spend 10,000 hours of deliberate practice at something — anything — you will have achieved mastery of that skill. Even if you totally suck at whatever that skill is, after 10,000 hours you will become an expert.

outliers book

Yesterday when I published my last post, I was super nervous before hitting the “publish” button. So nervous in fact, that I almost didn’t publish it at all. I was filled with fear that the people I know would silently judge me; that people I respect would think my ideas and writing skills were crap. I was not sure if I was okay with making myself vulnerable in that way.

But then I thought to myself, “come on now, girl. You can’t seriously have spent the time to finally write something after THREE AND A HALF YEARS of silence on this blog, only to trash it?” I was right, I could not.

Later that night, I got to thinking about all the writers and bloggers I admire, and how I (in no way) measure up to them. I realized I am jealous that they can nail a piece of work, seemingly right from the start. How do they produce such amazing content, every darn time?

Oh, yeah. The 10,0000 Hour Rule.

I realized that, my favs, they too produce their share of crap. I just never see it. I only read the 10,000th hour delights.

Then I started to wonder – “so what exactly AM I an expert at? What have I spent 10,000 hours practicing?”

If you think of 10,000 hours in terms of working a 40-hour a week job, that breaks down to 4 years and 11 months of deliberate practice.10000 hours 2

What skills have I spent almost 5 years of full time work practicing? Here’s what I came up with (minus the obvious facets of being alive, such as sleeping, breathing, cellular mitosis, etc.):

  1. My actual job
  2. Typing on a keyboard
  3. Watching TV
  4. Responding to emails


But seriously, according to this rule, I haven’t even yet mastered brushing my teeth (by my calculations, I’ve only spent 4 years and 6 months on that particular skill).

Confession: I did originally have on that list “the act of writing”, because I have physically written a lot of stuff in my lifetime. We all have. But I took it off because I cannot say I have spent 10,000 hours crafting writing – which brings me back to my point.

I cannot worry about crafting the perfect work every darn time. I just have not spent enough time working on it yet. Which is why I am doing exactly that right now.

By my calculations, I’ve only got 8,436 hours left. Roughly.


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Oh boy, here we go. (Thank you, Shonda) February 23, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — Messie Jessie @ 1:26 pm

I recently watched the TED Talk by Shonda Rhimes. (If you haven’t watched it, I’m not going to recap it for you here, so just do yourself  favor and watch it now.)

Exactly five minutes into her speech, she talks about “the hum”. Listening to her, I nod my head and think, “yeah man. I know that hum”. Around minute 12 she starts talking about how the hum is joy and love. It is confident and it is deific.

“The hum” also kinda sounds like hypomania, but whatever. No judgement, Shonda.

The thing is, like Shonda, my hum got quiet too. It went silent a few years ago. I have been trying to rekindle that hum, but always felt that I was reaching around in the dark – grasping the air – with inspiration just beyond my reach.

I blame grad school. And work. And doing both at the same time. And then not taking any real “time off” in the two years since I’ve been done doing both school and work at the same time.

This is a subject that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to rekindle the spark, and get closer to some goals I have had for a long time. I yearn for the hum. I mourn its silence almost daily.

holding spark

Perhaps it was not until now – when I have the words to aptly describe the spark that once existed and void I was feeling in its absence – that I believe am able to hold that spark in my hand once again (even if just for a few precious minutes at a time).

Back to the point: What brings me joy? What gets me closer to my goals? When do I feel the “hum”? What makes me feel like I am “playing”? Well, this actually.

Believe me, this is not the first time I considered getting back into blogging. I have come THISCLOSE on many occasion. Somehow restarting always felt so… overwhelming. Everything I was inspired to write about always felt so lofty and time consuming. So instead I retreated to FB and Reddit, because that is where I can distract myself from my own discontent (and face it, you do too).

But, as Shonda says, 15 mins a day?  I can totally do that.

So now, I am trying this. Like, for real this time. Here is my vow to play at least 15 mins a day.

My goal is to seek joy in order to nourish the hum.

Will you play with me?


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Every Girl Needs An Escape Plan September 26, 2012

Filed under: Adventures in Dating — Messie Jessie @ 9:48 pm
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If there is one thing that is customary about a first date, it’s the Escape Plan. Everyone has had one. You may not have used it, but you had it in your back pocket just in case that guy you met at the coffee shop went from being your Dream Man to the Sandman.

I had a first date recently. It was “meh”. But then this Meh Guy asked me out again and I figured, “What the heck. If nothing else, it’s free drinks and entertainment.” What can I say? I’m an optimist.

Right up to the time I left the house I was still feeling “meh” about the date. I even considered standing him up but then the whole stupid “empathy” thing kicked in and I realized that is a totally uncool thing to do. Meh Guy had probably shaved and everything. If someone shaves for you, it’s just not cool to stand them up.

Walking toward the dirty subway, staring down at my grey Converse All Stars as I got step-by-step  closer to a night full of “meh”, I  was suddenly struck with the most amazing escape plan ever. If everything went as I planned, Meh Guy would have no idea it was an escape plan at all. With haste I pulled out my phone, sat on a neighbor’s stoop and sent a text to my male friend asking for his help.

Of course, my male friend turned out to be totally lame, and that’s not exactly how things went:

Me: “Hey!”

Lame Friend: “How’s things?”

Me: “Getting ready to go meet up with Meh Guy.”

Lame Friend: “Lame.”

Me: “Exactly. That’s why I need your help.”

Lame Friend: “??”

Me: “You show up and are all like ‘Who is this? What are you doing with another guy? I was waiting for you at home! I MADE YOU ZITI!’.”

Lame Friend: “Oh, I don’t want to be a home wrecker.”

Me: “Boo.”

Lame Friend: “You don’t like him anyway.”

Me: “I know, but it would make it sooo much easier than telling him I don’t want to see him anymore. Please. I NEED you.”

Lame Friend: “So lame.”

Me: “No, YOU’RE lame. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Lame Friend: “Waiting for you to ditch your date so we can go out and get a drink! Actually, that’s a lie. I’m at Lowe’s.”

One hour and fifty-four minutes later…

Lame Friend: “Are you still on your stupid date? Are you getting engaged yet?”

Me: “Shut up. I’m getting drunk, that’s what I’m getting.”


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