Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

You say “tomato”… October 4, 2008

Filed under: Life's Little Lessons — Messie Jessie @ 11:46 pm
Tags: , , ,

Last nite, over enchiladas and tacos, I had a discussion with a self-proclaimed atheist about spirituality. I am a self-proclaimed Gestaltist, or Holist. As you can imagine, we butted heads over many conditions.

To the Atheist, everything results in nothing. To me, there is something to be had from everything. The Atheist said he didn’t believe in spirituality. I said I have a strong base in spirituality, but that my spirituality is nothing like anyone else’s on this planet.

I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and greater insight. I look for the deeper meaning in everything, There is no study, faith, belief that is without something to be taken from it. And yet, one cannot be fully understood without the understanding of the context of another. Whether it be religion, new age practices, science or occult, there is something I take from each, to better find personal veracity. My ultimate goal is to find absolute enlightenment- the deeper truth and meaning in life. I am a student of everything that comes across my path. In that sense, I am a true Sagittarius.

We both agree that spirituality is not the same as religiosity. There is a distinct difference, and I do not believe that organized religion is the way to find your higher power. In fact, while I believe in the possibility of a higher power, if we as humans believe that we could ever come close to understanding what that higher power is, we are truly ignorant.

That being said, I am perfectly content with the alternate possibility that when I die, that may be it- I am simply dead, and no more. No heaven, no nothing; just dead and gone.

Paradoxically, the Atheist and I both want to be cremated, but for very different reasons. The Atheist for irony; me, for continuing the cycles of life.

My larger point to all this is that the Atheist and I are not all together that different in our individual beliefs. While we butted heads, we also saw eye to eye on others, even if for intrinsically different reasons.

All I ask of the Atheist (and any other persons for that matter) is that he not rebuke me for my beliefs, as I would never rebuke him for his… although I may question them. As far as I am concerned about my beliefs, all questions are welcome. It will only bring you closer to your own personal truth- whatever that may be.

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2 Responses to “You say “tomato”…”

  1. James Says:

    I’m miffed. Not badly offended, but I think you misapprehended my will.

    There is ABSOLUTELY nothing ironic about my desire to be cremated. It is the appropriately utilitarian end to an existence that bears no meaning. The living is the thing. Not the dying. Not the reverence thereafter; I cannot experience that. And without my experience, the meaninglessness washes even further into the riptide of meaninglessness.

    I would like to presuppose the forethought to care for the feelings of others who might be “harmed” by my death, but that presents a metaphysical, epistemological, and moral problem. If my existence is created out of purpose and experience, how can I glean any purpose out of what happens after I die, as an atheist? If the limits of experimental knowledge are my beloved ultimate, contained therein, how can I know? Also, morally, as an atheist, how can I care about my lingerance as an idea? I gainfully employ my beliefs daily, just to keep on fighting, to keep existing in the face of Despair and Absurdity. To not care about what happens after after isn’t glibness. To care would be an act of ignorance. It would be an atheistic sin to care about “legacy.” It’s almost the same as believing in an afterlife.

    A grave cannot exist for me. A grave is a monument. A monument is, in some small way, an afterlife.

    In this way, cremation is a superlative for me, not an irony.

    Carrying it further, it also bears noting that, not only do I want to be cremated, I want my ashes thrown away in the trash can. That is the fitting end to an atheist’s life. It’s symbolic of the transience of life and disappearance of death.

    I meditated on this thought long ago, and I quote here:

    “My existence is bound to be an end,
    An end, ended in endless meaninglessness.”

    I might amend that to include:

    “Meaninglessness equals trash.”

    Please be sure that recalcitrant irony would never inform any serious choice I would ever make.

    I gotta ask, do you think I would have chosen to be cremated and thrown away lightly?…

    Do I think getting thrown is the trash is funny?… Yes.

    It’s not ironic though. It’s melancholy. It’s as funny and sad as a dog chasing it’s own tail. It’s as hilarious as people gambling to make money and losing and betting again.

    I think its as funny an end as the silly, orgasmic, facial expressions people make are. It’s watching a man or woman, breaking up with his or her significant other, screaming in a closed phonebooth, and you can’t hear what he or she is saying.

    It’s a ludicrous end to a meaningful experience.

    Devoid of meaning, or spirituality, or irony, or bearing. Just the act. THAT”S being cremated and thrown away.

    For me anyway.

  2. Melissa Says:

    Marry This Man!!!!


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