Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

A pisser of a weekend December 14, 2008

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 11:53 pm
Tags: , , , , ,


8:40 am: I wake up to the sound of Rice playing with one of his Jingle Ball toys. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decide to get up and watch some of my new favorite TV show, which I can watch anytime, thanks to the wonders of the technological age. I choose not to have my morning coffee just yet since I went to bed around 3am, and would like to catch a few more Zzz’s before really getting started with my day.

Don't let that cute face fool you. He's a bad, bad boy. The claws are what give him away.

Don't let that cute face fool you. He's a bad, bad boy. The claws are what give him away.



9:30 – 11:30 am: Lazing through my mini hangover, I eat, watch more episodes of my show, and fall in and out of consciousness. With the “couch blanket” pulled up to my chin, I think to myself, “do I smell cat pee?… No, I think I’m just being over sensitive. It’s probably just my imagination”. 

These thoughts run through my head several times before I think, “No, it’s definitely cat piss. But maybe Rice just smells”, as I cuddle with him on the couch.

11:48 am: I decide that not only do I smell cat pee, but one source of the odor is definitely coming from the blanket with which I am snuggled up under. I notice Rice scratching the carpet in front of the couch, but he’s a cat, so shoo him and forget about it.

12:13 pm: The BF drops by. He joins me on the couch for more lazy Saturday relaxing. I ask him if he, too, smells cat piss. He concurs. I then shove the blanket in question up to his nose and ask, “do you think this is where it’s coming from”? He pushes the blanket away from his face in disgust, but notes that, yes, it does have a definite cat piss odor to it. I start to feel miffed about the odor, but it is easily ignorable. I still don’t know the exact source of the odor, but I know Rice peed somewhere he should not have.

2:34 pm: After internetting for the best prices on Christmas gifts, and toiling over if we should head down to Pier 70 or not for a little shopping, we decide to head out.

6:35 pm: We have returned to the house and put the goods away. We were going to cook dinner, but decided that we were both too lazy to do so and opt for take out and a movie instead. As I sit next to the BF on the couch and prepare to dial the number from the menu, I say “Ok, I really smell cat pee. Like, really bad. It smells warm“. The BF says that he does as well, but we aren’t sure where it’s coming from. I think to myself, this is really getting annoying. Then the BF looks down at the floor, lifts his stockinged foot and says, “uhhh, I think I figured out where the smell is coming from”. He then lifts his foot to his nose, smells it, and touches the sock with his hand. He confirms that he has stepped in fresh cat piss. Rice had chosen to urinate directly in front of the couch; right where you put your feet, and right where we walk over repeatedly. This is highly inconvenient, and my annoyance level just shot from a 3 to an 8 in about two seconds. This is not the first time Rice peed outside the litter, but previous to this it was limited to hard surfaces. He poops in the litter, but I don’t understand why he just doesn’t like to urinate in the litter too.

I pull up the runner carpet, can see the wet mark on the underside of the runner and on the wall to wall carpet.  I find Rice, take him by the scruff, put his face in the piss stained carpet and, in my lowest and most “mean mommy” voice tell him, “NO. BAD. NO”. I know this tactic does not work, but it makes me feel a little better. For now. 

I tell the BF the we can no longer step on this area of the rug, for fear that we may infect the couch or other places of the house, and thus lead the cat to piss there too. I also decide that tomorrow I will head back down to Pier 70 to the pet store so that I can purchase Nature’s Miracle Cat Odor Remover. I have used this stuff in the past, and it works really well.

7:24 pm: We have now eaten and put in the movie. With a fresh blanket and in spoon-configuration on the couch, my nose flanks the piss spot and is not only all I can smell, but also all I can think about. I continuously complain about the piss smell burning my nose, and I have not become fun company. I am highly irritated. Rice has officially earned the nickname Little Pisser.

I realize that the reason the blanket smelled was because this cannot be the first time Rice urinated on the carpet, and the blanket must have draped onto the previous piss at some point, causing it to infect the blanket with it’s odor. At this point it is too late for the new blanket, as it has also met the same fate. Not only am I angered, but I am literally wrapped in stench. 

12:30 pm: I go to bed, frustrated about the urine.


Middle of the Night: The BF wakes me up and tells me that I had been grinding my teeth, which woke him up. I tell him, “that means I’m stressed”. Probably about the piss. I roll over and go back to sleep.

9:36 am: I awake, and head to the living room for my favorite morning ritual of coffee and email. I keep my feet perched on the coffee table, or in indian style underneath me, in an attempt to refrain from stepping in the pee spot. I google “How to litter train your adult cat” but find few practical results. I seek out help from other pet enthusiasts I know in desperate search of a way to not only get rid of this mess, but prevent future messes. 

1:10 pm: I return from the pet store, armed with Nature’s Miracle. I begin the ablutionary cleansing of the piss by breaking out the steam cleaner to loosen the, now dry, urine. The fetor of old, warm, rehydrated cat piss is almost worse than the original; it hangs heavy in the air.  I rub the Nature’s Miracle saturated carpet with my hand, trying to ensure it will reach the depths of the piss. I do this to both the carpets. I grab the blankets and give them a thorough sniffing trying to locate the exact spot of contamination, but my poor olfactory receptors are so over wrought that they can no longer detect the scent. I recruit the BF for his virgin nose, and he pinpoints the locations, while I saturate them as well. I hang the runner and blankets over the stair railing to dry and sit back down on my couch to rest.

Yet, I cannot stop the irksome thoughts of, “What if I didn’t get it all? What if this isn’t the only place he’s going? What if he’s peeing, say, under my bed too? What if he just keeps pissing on the carpet forever? Can I mentally withstand that”? I toss these thoughts by the BF, to which he responds, “well, it might just be something you have to live with”. I glare at him and firmly state, “NO. This is something I will not live with. I will litter train this cat”.

5:15 pm: The BF heads for home, and I am left alone with the piss stench. At this point you can’t really even smell it any more, but it’s all I can smell, merely because I know its there. I feverishly search the internet for remedies and possible cures for odor removal, litter training and anything else I can find on the subject. 

6:30 pm: I am face down on the floor, nose dug into the carpet to see how bad it still is. I have now fully submitted to my obsession with the urine.”Yup, you can still smell it, but not nearly as bad. The runner stinks worse though. I will have to launder the runner and the blankets soon. I really hope Rice doesn’t piss here again while I’m at work tomorrow. Honestly, that would push me over the edge”. I refuse to live in a house that constantly smells of cat piss.

7:05 pm: I check my email and see that some people responded about how to re-litter train my cat. There were a few good ideas, but the one that seemed the easiest and most simple was this: “Some cats are really weird and will only poop in one box, and pee in another. Maybe you could put another litter next to the one that he poops in and see if that works”. At this point, I’ll try anything. I create a makeshift litter from an old pizza box and set it next to the other litter. I make myself some dinner, watch some football and (try to) forget about it, while still propping my feet up as to avoid the tainted carpet.

8:20 pm: I go into the kitchen to get some water, and I glance at the little litter. “What’s that in there? Is that…. Gasp, It is! RICE PEED IN THE NEW LITTER!!!” I run to the livingroom, kiss his little head, and praise the crap outta him for using it.

In this moment, I am the happiest girl in all of Philadelphia.

Present Hour: Clearly the obsession has not passed, since I am sitting here writing about the entire event in great detail, but I am placated. I am still anxious that the Nature’s Miracle will not be completely effective, and his little kitty nose will still pick up the scent and he will believe that is his new litter spot. But I do plan on using some suggested preventative measures, such as lining the treated carpet area with aluminum foil, to keep him from walking (and pissing) on it while I’m at work tomorrow. 

Little Pisser has re-earned the right to lay with me on the couch, and that’s where we leave things for tonight. 

Tomorrow may be a different story all together; here’s to hoping that it’s not.


2 Responses to “A pisser of a weekend”

  1. Mommy G Says:

    You go, boy, Rice-cakes-baby!
    I mean, You go in the pizza box litter!

    Good luck, Jess. I hope the second litter box keeps working!

  2. NICE CAT Says:

    Nice blog! I see that you love animals. If you want to add to your blog a free daily pictures with funny animals click on my name 😉 Have a nice day!

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