Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

How I Plan To Retire By Age 45 July 16, 2011

  1. Write book.
  2. Get book published.
  3. Shortly after publication, book spends a record breaking 219 weeks on the NY Times Best Seller list, beating out the current record holder, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (216 weeks), and becoming an instant American Classic.
  4. Do lots of interviews about how awesome my book is.
  5. Negotiate and sign movie deal with Time Warner.
  6. Be portrayed by Natalie Portman.
  7. Make $2,942,381,268 in box office sales, edging out Avatar for the largest gross box office sales of all time and becoming an instant American Cinematic Classic.
  8. Natalie Portman wins Best Actress. Again. Praises me in her acceptance speech.
  9. Movie gets syndicated on HBO and later TBS, playing no less than 3 times a day over a 5 year period.
  10. Sit back on the beaches of Aruba, sipping vodka & cranberry, as the sales and royalties roll in.

Yeah, I think that’s totally do-able.

Now, who’s got a good idea for a book?


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One Response to “How I Plan To Retire By Age 45”

  1. Tiffany Says:

    I love this idea, and I think you can do it.

    I tend to love the non-fictional side of things, and I love memoirs. Word around the campfire is that this genre is hard to break into. But maybe you have a unique story?…

    I think it’s always worth a shot. You have the charisma, it seems, to reach at least one or two of the goals listed above.

    By the way, I would totally have “liked” this post formally, but I had to log-in and yada yada yada, so I opted for a comment instead. 😀

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