Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

Oh boy, here we go. (Thank you, Shonda) February 23, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — Messie Jessie @ 1:26 pm

I recently watched the TED Talk by Shonda Rhimes. (If you haven’t watched it, I’m not going to recap it for you here, so just do yourself  favor and watch it now.)

Exactly five minutes into her speech, she talks about “the hum”. Listening to her, I nod my head and think, “yeah man. I know that hum”. Around minute 12 she starts talking about how the hum is joy and love. It is confident and it is deific.

“The hum” also kinda sounds like hypomania, but whatever. No judgement, Shonda.

The thing is, like Shonda, my hum got quiet too. It went silent a few years ago. I have been trying to rekindle that hum, but always felt that I was reaching around in the dark – grasping the air – with inspiration just beyond my reach.

I blame grad school. And work. And doing both at the same time. And then not taking any real “time off” in the two years since I’ve been done doing both school and work at the same time.

This is a subject that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to rekindle the spark, and get closer to some goals I have had for a long time. I yearn for the hum. I mourn its silence almost daily.

holding spark

Perhaps it was not until now – when I have the words to aptly describe the spark that once existed and void I was feeling in its absence – that I believe am able to hold that spark in my hand once again (even if just for a few precious minutes at a time).

Back to the point: What brings me joy? What gets me closer to my goals? When do I feel the “hum”? What makes me feel like I am “playing”? Well, this actually.

Believe me, this is not the first time I considered getting back into blogging. I have come THISCLOSE on many occasion. Somehow restarting always felt so… overwhelming. Everything I was inspired to write about always felt so lofty and time consuming. So instead I retreated to FB and Reddit, because that is where I can distract myself from my own discontent (and face it, you do too).

But, as Shonda says, 15 mins a day?  I can totally do that.

So now, I am trying this. Like, for real this time. Here is my vow to play at least 15 mins a day.

My goal is to seek joy in order to nourish the hum.

Will you play with me?

**

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