Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

Top 5 Benefits of a Massive 2nd-Degree Curling Iron Burn on Your Neck March 25, 2016

Filed under: All about me,Top 5's — Messie Jessie @ 9:24 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,
  1. Not only am I certain that my curling iron still works, but I am able to roughly gauge just how hot it gets. “Blistering hot”, to be precise.
  2. You are able to discern if people are actually listening to you, or just feigning attention. Eyes that wander to your neck is a dead giveaway.
  3. It is a chance to finally try out that sexy side-swept-hair-covering-face look. Bonus points because the style requires NO HEAT.
  4. One is forced to contemplate the subjective passage of time as you rummage through the first aid supplies, only to discover they all expired in 2013. (Even though that was technically 3 years ago, it really does not feel like it was that far in the past. So that Neosporin must still be good, right?)
  5. I now know the universal magic words to getting any same-day appointment are “I think it’s infected”.

Come on, you are all thinking it. So, for the record: it is NOT a hickey, ALRIGHT?

**

Like what you read? Rate, Comment, Subscribe, Share!

Got any tips on how to cover this darn thing up? Help a sister out at CrazyKindaLife@gmail.com

Advertisements
 

Top 5 Favorite Search Engine Terms That Directed Traffic to My Blog May 21, 2011

In case you didn’t know, I started this blog in the summer of 2008. That means for the last three years I’ve been tagging key words and phrases, stealing  borrowing photos from Google Images, and generally just writing about all sorts of random topics.

At this point I’m sure I’ve made it pretty clear that my blog isn’t as popular as I wish it were. (Which means you should totally show your support by subscribing and recommending. I’ve even made it real easy for you. You can share it via FB, Twitter, Digg, Stumble Upon & email simply by clicking the “Like it? Share it!” icons of your choice at the bottom of this post. You can also subscribe by clicking the “Heck yes! Sign me up!” button to your right. You will need to confirm your subscription via your email, so if you don’t see an email from me, check your spam. Otherwise, your efforts at subscription are moot.)

I digress.

I check my site stats pretty obsessively. I’ve even got the Android app on my phone. I can also see what search engine terms people used that directed them to this site. Here’s a little CrazyKindaLife behind-the-scenes snapshot for all you hardcore fans:

As you can see, there are certain terms that commonly direct traffic to this blog. I’ve gotten literally thousands of hits related to “magic eye” in some form or another. I even get “magic eye” search terms in foreign languages, most of which use alphanumerics not found in the English language (as demonstrated in the pic above). “Clip art writing” has gotten me hundreds of hits (in fact, if you Google Images “write clipart” I come up as the #1 image. “Clip art writing” & “write clip art” #2. “Clip art write” #3. Cool, right?)

But then there are the less common search engine terms. And then there are the ones that are downright bizarre. Today I decided to go through my search engine terms of all time and pull out my favorites.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. “Dismembered Pinky Toe”

I never thought of my blog as associated with a “dismembered” anything, but apparently Google does. According to them I’m the number one site to read on this particular topic.

*

2. Recipe for foot bath using Ramen seasoning

For the record, I’ve never used Ramen seasoning for a foot bath. Ever. However, Google lists me as the #6 authority on this subject. I fall just below Suzann Ledbetter and her Novel Cuisine. Novel cuisine, indeed, Suzann.

*

3. www sex real public sex invasion were living in acrazy world

Not only have two people (two!) clicked on my blog using this exact search term, but I’m the first site that comes up! I’m not really sure what else to say about this so I’m going to move right along.

*

4. “Band aids on a few fingers”

Now, you’ve got to use the quotes for this one to work, but according to my site stats, that’s exactly how someone found me. If you use this search term correctly, there are only three sites in the universe that used this exact phrasing, and I’m #1. The other contenders? A Muscle Car Association in Memphis and some forum discussing what music they are currently listening to.

What the three of us have in common besides “Band aids on a few fingers”, I’ll never know.

*

5. “I’m so different. I was a model. I sing. I want. I want to continue to sing and on top of that you expect me to be subtle? I’m a femme fatale darling!”

Say what? I have no idea what in the bejesus this has to do with my blog. But twice (again, twice!) someone has clicked on my URL from this search engine term. Using quotes.

*

Now of course, that’s not all of ’em, but those are my Top 5 favs. Just in case you’re wondering, here’s a few of the runner ups: Buuurp (thrice clicked) • lentil soup worms (twice clicked) • sexy brunette raped (which is a little disturbing) • what is the Universe telling me about why I can’t get a job • how to get cat piss smell out of blanket • where does tag on blanket go when making bed (uhm… the bottom. Duh.) • every girl needs a gay friend • and last but not least, “magic eye sexy”.

By the way, I totally just tagged every search engine term listed in this post. This may skew individual Google search results.

*

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe (over there –>) and recommend (just down yonder)!!

*

 

 
%d bloggers like this: