Snapshots of a… Crazy Kinda Life

The Misadventures of Messie Jessie

Top 5 Benefits of a Massive 2nd-Degree Curling Iron Burn on Your Neck March 25, 2016

Filed under: All about me,Top 5's — Messie Jessie @ 9:24 am
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  1. Not only am I certain that my curling iron still works, but I am able to roughly gauge just how hot it gets. “Blistering hot”, to be precise.
  2. You are able to discern if people are actually listening to you, or just feigning attention. Eyes that wander to your neck is a dead giveaway.
  3. It is a chance to finally try out that sexy side-swept-hair-covering-face look. Bonus points because the style requires NO HEAT.
  4. One is forced to contemplate the subjective passage of time as you rummage through the first aid supplies, only to discover they all expired in 2013. (Even though that was technically 3 years ago, it really does not feel like it was that far in the past. So that Neosporin must still be good, right?)
  5. I now know the universal magic words to getting any same-day appointment are “I think it’s infected”.

Come on, you are all thinking it. So, for the record: it is NOT a hickey, ALRIGHT?


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Got any tips on how to cover this darn thing up? Help a sister out at


Just a Quick Update March 10, 2016

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 2:49 pm
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So remember a few weeks ago when I was all like “I’m blogging for 15 minutes EVERY DAY!”

Yeah. About that.

Trust me – I did not forget, nor did I change my mind. I have lots of ideas. And I actually have been working on one post for over a week at this point, stalled from spending far too long turning myself into a pirate. (Get excited about that, folks).

I don’t know if you realize but these posts also take way more than 15 minutes to write. Like, at least a solid hour for a few paragraphs and humorous pics. And, honestly? Sometimes I want to use that hour working on other things.

Things like:

  • learning to make my own clothes (totally rad, I know),
  • getting outside,
  • ramping up my exercise routine,
  • considering professional licensure,
  • doing amazing things with amazing people

All this to say, I’m here and I am not going anywhere. I just won’t be here every day.

Now, get off the internet and go do some amazing stuff with some equally amazing folks.


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Wanna be amazing together? Drop me a line at


The Mastery of Writing and Teeth Brushing February 24, 2016

Malcolm Gladwell (*nerd girl swoon) wrote about the 10,000 Hour Rule in his book Outliers. Basically, the 10,000 Hour Rule claims that if you spend 10,000 hours of deliberate practice at something — anything — you will have achieved mastery of that skill. Even if you totally suck at whatever that skill is, after 10,000 hours you will become an expert.

outliers book

Yesterday when I published my last post, I was super nervous before hitting the “publish” button. So nervous in fact, that I almost didn’t publish it at all. I was filled with fear that the people I know would silently judge me; that people I respect would think my ideas and writing skills were crap. I was not sure if I was okay with making myself vulnerable in that way.

But then I thought to myself, “come on now, girl. You can’t seriously have spent the time to finally write something after THREE AND A HALF YEARS of silence on this blog, only to trash it?” I was right, I could not.

Later that night, I got to thinking about all the writers and bloggers I admire, and how I (in no way) measure up to them. I realized I am jealous that they can nail a piece of work, seemingly right from the start. How do they produce such amazing content, every darn time?

Oh, yeah. The 10,0000 Hour Rule.

I realized that, my favs, they too produce their share of crap. I just never see it. I only read the 10,000th hour delights.

Then I started to wonder – “so what exactly AM I an expert at? What have I spent 10,000 hours practicing?”

If you think of 10,000 hours in terms of working a 40-hour a week job, that breaks down to 4 years and 11 months of deliberate practice.10000 hours 2

What skills have I spent almost 5 years of full time work practicing? Here’s what I came up with (minus the obvious facets of being alive, such as sleeping, breathing, cellular mitosis, etc.):

  1. My actual job
  2. Typing on a keyboard
  3. Watching TV
  4. Responding to emails


But seriously, according to this rule, I haven’t even yet mastered brushing my teeth (by my calculations, I’ve only spent 4 years and 6 months on that particular skill).

Confession: I did originally have on that list “the act of writing”, because I have physically written a lot of stuff in my lifetime. We all have. But I took it off because I cannot say I have spent 10,000 hours crafting writing – which brings me back to my point.

I cannot worry about crafting the perfect work every darn time. I just have not spent enough time working on it yet. Which is why I am doing exactly that right now.

By my calculations, I’ve only got 8,436 hours left. Roughly.


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Wanna put in some practice? Drop me a line at


To Protect and Serve June 19, 2012

Filed under: I'm a poet: now you know it — Messie Jessie @ 10:55 pm
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Tonight a young black man got stopped

by an older white cop.

He was apprehended for

riding his dirt bike on the sidewalk.


A shove. A kick. A fist.

Young black man cried, “did you see that, Miss?”

With the sole observing eyes, I called out

“It was hard to miss.”


A steely baton rose,

followed by two sharp blows.

Blood ran down

the young man’s nose.


Backup arrived;

they forced him inside.

Those older white cops? Well,

they shared a high five.



A young black man was stopped

by an older white cop.

Because he rode

his dirt bike on the sidewalk.


Versatile Blogger Award Winner– That’s Me! March 30, 2012

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 9:31 pm
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Us bloggers, who get to publish whatever the heck we want to, never really know who’s reading our stuff and what readers think of it. Sure, my site stats tell me how many people clicked around. Yeah, it’s great that people who know me in real life tell me they got a rise out of something I published. But, in truth, it doesn’t really tell a blogger all that much about what their larger audience thinks about content on their blog.

So when one of your followers, who’s a fellow blogger, gives you the Versatile Blogger Awardthat’s saying something. That’s the kinda stuff that makes you want to keep writing. That’s the stuff that makes your heart smile.

When Maggie over at FortyAndFeelingIt  nominated me (which equates to awarding), I was honored. Seriously, I was. By awarding me this prestigious accolade, she’s basically announcing to the world that she reads my junk and she loves it. I love that she loves my junk. She’s also announcing that she thinks other people should read my junk because she thinks they’ll love it too. Thanks Maggie, I agree.

In order to accept this award (I accept, I accept!) there’s a few rules I’ve got to follow. I totally prepared an acceptance speech which is now totally moot, but I can be a rule-follower for a day, so here it goes:

  • You must give credit to the person who nominated you and create a link in your post.

THANK YOU, MAGGIE! You’re swell.

As for linking to her blog, I pretty much already did that above but I’ll do it again. And again. And just once more for good measure… again.

  • You must create a list of 15 blogs that you enjoy most and link to those as well. Then you must go and tell them you have nominated them.  That means if you do not have 15, you cannot do this step.  If you do not complete this step, then you cannot claim this award.

Whoa, the pressure is ON. Alright, in no particular order….

  1. DroppedIn – This guy is a philosopher, a card shark, and a kayaker. He’s also a really amazing human being.
  2. The What’s Goin’ Down Episode – This fine lady takes great photos, makes good eats, and is the craftiest crafter to ever craft. A few minutes reading her blog, and you will wish you were a part of her beautiful family.
  3. Mom Hearts Pinot – She’ll make you laugh, she’ll make you cry and she’ll make you wanna make stuff from random crap you found around your house. She’s also got this kid she calls Red.
  4. Simply Gray – A mother, a photographer and an American turned Aussie. She’s got the best, cutest and most lovable kids in the whole world. Who cares if I’m biased? It’s the truth!
  5. Shmitten Kitten – A dating blog for people who would probably never read a dating blog. This gal gets around, but it’s for a worthwhile cause.
  6. Life Is Good – An American living in Saudi Arabia. Did I mention she’s a therapist too? Nice.
  7. The Philly Foodist – Eat well, buy local, love thy neighbor. Warning: do not visit this blog on an empty stomach.
  8. Getting Well For The First Time – One man’s journey. One man’s blog.
  9. Pain On The Rise – An interesting examination on trauma and more sciency- stuffs. Look closely and you might see some totally amazing guest posts!
  10. International Society for Ethical Psychology and Psychiatry – Some really great articles on newsworthy mental health topics. Really smart people read (and write for) this blog.
  11. Snarkysnatch – Yo, this girl gets raunch, but she’ll make you laugh. And fear online dating. For reals.
  12. Jessica Spotswood – A Young Adult fiction writer. Even though she just published her first book, she’s been writing for years and is totally excellent at it, I must say.
  13. Pimp Ur Blog – Do I even need to explain this one?
  14. The Oatmeal – Matt (aka The Oatmeal) needs no free promotion from a nobody blogger like me, but I’m a regular reader and a fan so I thought I ought to give him some love.
  15. Damn You Auto Correct – Whenever I need a good laugh, this is the first place I go. Once I laughed so hard I spit out my drink all over my desk, so, you know, click with caution.
  • Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Alright Maggie, as you probably know, I’m typically a fan of Top 5’s, but here’s my Top 7 just for you:

  1. I eat cottage cheese on a daily basis. I find that small curd is superior to large curd.
  2. I own 14 camisoles, 15 pairs of flip-flops and 18 fashion scarves. This is not an exaggeration for humorous effect; I just counted.
  3. I can be forgetful so I write a lot of To Do lists. If I get lazy with the To Do’s I tend to write myself mean reminder notes. Here’s an example:
  4. I take pictures of chicken bones on I encounter on the street and then put them in an album called “Meat on the Street”. The number of followers this album has amassed is surprisingly large. Who knew discarded meat could be so popular?
  5. I keep a Bucket List which hangs on my wall. Here is a photo:
  6. I have synesthesia. Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.
  7. When I’m in a good mood I like to dance around my kitchen in my underwear. You should try it sometime, I highly recommend it.

Thanks again for the award, Maggie! You’re super cool.


So now, readers, it’s your turn: Show your support when you Rate, Comment, Subscribe and Share!

As always, feel free to shoot me a line at to tell me how totally awesome I am and how this award is basically just stating the obvious.


Guess Who Wrote A Book?: Pimp ur Blog, yo March 21, 2012

That’s right, Messie Jessie has coauthored an eBook: Pimp ur Blog! Click here to visit the book’s website to learn more about it.

(Yes, my book has its own website. It spent many a tireless night perfecting the content, layout and design. I’m not sure how my book did this without any hands, but whatever, I think my book did a good job.)

“What’s an eBook?” you ask? Well, an eBook is pretty much exactly the same as a bound-paper book, except there is no bound paper. In fact, there’s no paper at all. EBooks download to your computer and other electronic devices for environmentally friendly reading. And they’re cheaper too: my eBook is only .99 cents per episode. $4.95 for the whole thing. Plus, there’s the whole instant gratification factor. Have you already decided you want the book? Just click this sentence, then click “Buy Now” and in less than a minute, it’s yours!

Now, in honor of full disclosure, I wrote only a small portion of the book and I know pretty much nothing on the actual topic. My assignment was to about my favorite topic: me! The majority of the authorship credit goes to Paul Rice who blogs at and Paul is one of my readers and used my blog as a guinea pig for his search-results-boosting hypothesis.

Turns out Paul knew what he was doing because it worked– my search results tripled almost immediately! You should totally visit his site and drop him a comment telling him all about how awesome his eBook is. Then head over to Twitter and follow him at @GettingWell4 so you can continue to wade in the wake of his awesomeness.

In closing, the following words are probably the most awesome to ever appear on this CrazyKindaLife website: BUY OUR EBOOK. On Amazon. 



In the spirit of continued awesomeness: Rate, Comment, Subscribe, Share! AND BUY!

And email! Copious compliments now accepted.


I’m a Guest Blogger! People Like Me! February 21, 2012

Filed under: All about me — Messie Jessie @ 9:23 pm
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I’ve been pretty pissed at 2012 thus far. Last fall, I forecasted 2012 as “the year all my dreams come true”. I was all kinds of optimistic. Instead, it’s been more like “the year that totally did not go as forecasted”. Granted, we’re only 52 days deep, but still… 2012 has been a real let down. It’s been down right nasty a couple times, even.

Then someone took notice to my writing. Someone liked my writing. In fact, they liked my writing so much that they asked me to write for their blog.

It’s been a project we’d been secretly working on  for a while, but finally, 52 days into 2012, I can share with the world that I AM A GUEST BLOGGER!

I’ll be contributing to monthly. You can go directly to my debut post by CLICKING HERE.  (You may notice that this one is a repost from an article I did a few weeks ago, but future posts will be new content, I promise.)

So please, even if you’ve read it before, check out my post! Then get all click-happy and tap that mouse all over the rest of the site. The blog’s full-time author puts a lot of research into his writing so there’s great content on there worth reading. Plus, you’ll be clicking with purpose: us bloggers measure how much you like our work by how many clicks we get. If you like what you read, click again. If you really like what you read, click everything.

I guess this makes me, like, a for real author now, huh?  Alright 2012, we’re cool again. But still, I’ve got my eye on you…


In all this excitement, don’t forget to Rate, Comment, Subscribe, Share! (On BOTH blogs, fools!)

Want to send a personal congrats? Email me at


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